And I shall never speak again... To myself, I made that sacred vow, So long ago... Another time looms ever vast, The tallest tree In the forest of my youth, Old and tough, weary and weathered, We thought that it could never fall... Time cleanses all; Beneath it's verdant cover, There is only home... We always think we have forever, Each moment standing still, Waltzing through a filling hourglass, Corrupting destiny, And twisting fate... Placed upon the tallest branch, I reign above it all, A phoenix Arisen. Cicadas sing their startling melodies, As the dying light filters through branches, Tangling into the golden abyss That once was my heart; And, somehow, we will still be there, Dancing with the sundust, Forever.
'Will you die a young hero, Or live a lengthy and prosperous life, Enriched, until one day, You find that you have become The villain...?' Go ahead. Rip open my wounds, Tear me apart once again, Shred the fleshy remnants Left there from old battles; Open me up completely To a whole new world of pain... Thought I'd left it all behind, For good, But the bad always catches up, Refusing to ever let me go. I had to get away. There is no room left In my wounded, whiplashed back For any more knives, And the biggest knife- No, the sword of Damocles- Can only be twisted in deeper. Such loathsome pretenders, They pretend to care, When they cannot even see me For who I really am, Refusing to ever look Deeper than the surface. Well, now, that is all they get... They deserve nothing. There is nothing left; Just the static and the rain, And the horrifying kraken- It rises from the deep, Creeping from the abysmal depths, Darkest part of my heart, And it strangles them... Choking
Art is M e S s Y . It leaks in everywhere, Seeping in through your pores, Painting your heart A different shade, Until there's nothing left, Except a few paint chips, And tangle-bristled brushes, All askew. Your heart is art; So is your smile...
There can never, ever be A truly perfect romantic love; Not in this world, Where there is nothing, Only endless sorrow and misery... For even in all of her happiness, It still hangs over her head, Dropping to wrap around her heart, Like a bladed noose; Its sharpened tendrils always clasping The beauty that is within their grasp, Gasping... Misery loves lovers, Always seeking to destroy That which is held most sacred, Such a fragile and untamed beauty Must always be bathed in darkness, Tainted, somehow... Ancient fables never tell How wicked Persephone rose from hell, And how she fell in love again, Not with Hades this time, But with Damocles instead... And he'll never really know That his sword hangs over her, So neatly entwined with cruel destiny, Blade pointed directly at her heart; No one can see it, save for her... None of them believe it is real; However, it remains there nonetheless, Eternally damning her... Always dangling, scarcely taming fate, Mockingly threatening
Nothing ever really changes, The same mistakes on different faces, Searching for the fabled pinacle, A turning point? Sometimes you just need a hand. So you beg until you bleed, And you are willing, all too willing, To grasp whichever reaching hand You can. You can't listen in on me Through the walls, Can't talk over me Until I am consumed by The Silence. Can't chase everyone away, Can't gaslight and manipulate me, Can't use me at your leisure, Can't yell at me constantly, Can't torture me every day, Can't abuse me every way, Can't Can't Can't. You can't expect to be the only key; You can't hate me for feeling differently. Can't keep me as a prisoner. You cannot. And you never will again.
Oh, woe... I shall always remember, The times When I bled From your wounds, When I Saw through you... Facade of duality. Purveyor of Malicious denial, In a world where There is nothing. No justice... When will You listen? Listen. Lonely hearts' Malingering lullaby, The haunting cadence A cacophony of lies... Astray. You are the lies, As with every heartstep You fall farther away; A monster. I am sick Of the suffering, The lacking, The nothing.
I long to find true solitude, To get away from vapid, foolish humans, To escape from the madness, And find true bliss. Every time I try to connect, They merely ignore me, Shunning me for ever daring to shine, Perhaps they fear to be outshined. And so it is that I rest here, Inside my sacred shrine, Where even the bravest mortals fear to venture, It is the hell I dwell in. Each look and every burning touch, Every single scathing word, Branded into my soul for eternity, Weighing me down, stealing my breath. As they ignore the beauty all around them, And interrupt me as I soak it in, There is no solace from their contempt, Nor any limit to their greed. They sidle closer, like worms, Insidious gazes fixed upon hollow desires, Polluting any passion with corruption, With scathing malice for any innocence. They shred any decency without claws, Just the mind-numbing drawl, As the days crawl past, Wounds dripping crimson with betrayal.
I just find it grotesque... The way you cannot seem to stop Hurting me, Slowly killing me inside, Infecting me, Invading all that I am. Told that I am wrong... For every single feeling I ever have, And perhaps it is wrong To feel everything so deeply, So very deeply that I drown In the stark chaos. No one really loves me... They are all just liars, Lying the same old lie, Spanning fathomless ancient tales, Riddled with tension so thick You could cut it with a knife. The same knife you plunge into my heart... Over and over again, Delighting in my suffering, Taking glee in my misery, Holding me hostage, Dragging me under the waves... I am yours, but are you mine?
I will shed you like a second skin... The need to cleanse my palette of your toxic taste is overwhelming me, Twisting my guts and gnawing my bones, raw with lack of passion. Only sickness remains... And it's killing me, only on the inside, where there is no escape- Only the gas lamp burning, its wicked limelight flickering like a serpent's forked tongue; crackling with every bitter word you say, bursting into cinders with a sickening snap of sinew, Agony is born anew... Fickle as a madman's lofty grin, knowing there is never any reprieve, There is only you and your poisonous energy, seeking to destroy me... You like it when I'm scared- when I feel sad and scared, and small, You cannot see what is behind it all... The volume of your voice leaving scathing trails of burned flesh, carved forever into my skin, moments before I shed it all again; You do not matter, for you fail me every day. I release thee; Now burn!
I wrote my first song with my head under my pillow. My heart felt like it was drowning in a salt-water lake of tears, while the rest of my body already sunk, but... it wasn't the lack of oxygen that was killing me slowly, it was the truth I had inhaled. I saw myself. Tonight the moon serenades me with that song as I recall the tears, the truth, and me. I see myself, has grown. I'm writing a new song, my heart walking on water--my tears made of joy, beauty, grace-- it's not finished, but I believe it'll end on a high note.